Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
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We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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