he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize