Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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