she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is the high leading the old right now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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