is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
