in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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