NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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