is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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