I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize