haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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