You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
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If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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