Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
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She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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