I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize