a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This house was built for laser tag.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
