weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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