I faked an abortion last night.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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