I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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