Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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