She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize