Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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