he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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