I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize