Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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