He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize