dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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