so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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