She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize