Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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