sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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