Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize