I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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