So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize