xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize