he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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