Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
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Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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