put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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