dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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