my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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