i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
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Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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