I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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