sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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