i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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