It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
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got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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