I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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