I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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