You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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