Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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