I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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