i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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