After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
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i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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