Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
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I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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